With death and loss, a wider perspective is need.
Even at the simplest level one needs to treat the loss of a loved one with contemplation and introspection.
This short video from the Dalai Lama highlights the importance of developing determination towards fulfilling the wishes of the one that has passed away, versus sadness, anger, confusion and the many other destructive emotions that can affect you.
Through intense personal loss and experience it is possible to go even deeper than this practical advice given by His Holiness.
In fact, the absolute best practice is to see things the way they actually are, and that there is no such thing as birth or death, and thus there is no place to go or not go.
You are the ultimate, never changing reality.
You are all and your powerful mind is in a dream state.
Investigate, ask the direct question - Who Am I?
This is a question you ask yourself, not others.
Investigate this and consider these things closely, you will realize you are dreaming things up.
This investigation and truth can be truly amazing, and is something that can be heard, but not with your ears.
Sitting in silence you may be able to hear those that you mourn.
Go away for a few days, sit in silence and figure this out.
The ultimate truth will come to you, eventually.
This may be especially true if the ones you have "lost" left in some unusual way, but this reality can be enjoyed by all.
The energy of your "lost" loved one may come to you and tell you that you are all drenched and it is raining hard in your world, but in their world it is always fine weather.
Your world is full of worries and regrets, but their world is free of all thoughts, desires, pleasures, pains and is perfect and changeless.
They will go on to tell you their world has no night or day, no heat or cold. Thankfully, they will hold your hand and never let go, even when you drift back into your dream world of pleasure, pain, and ignorance.
The truth is that there is no ruler or ruled in a world of reality.
There is no duality whatsoever.
Your idea of a ruler of the world, is just a projection of your own idea.
Thus, Scriptures and Gods have no meaning in reality.
This person or body you have imagined to be there and that you are now imaging to be gone may speak back to you in this powerful new reality and remind you that you are rich with your ideas of possessions of quantity and quality but that they are completely without ideas.
How remarkable this reality is and how confused are you?
Your loved one may say it to you in this way:
In your world I would be most miserable.
To wake up, to eat, to talk, to sleep again - what a bother!
To live to die, what meaningless words are these?
When you see me alive, I am dead.
When you think me dead, I am alive.
Investigate - Who Am I?
Everything must be critically examined and the unnecessary ruthlessly destroyed.
Believe me, there cannot be too much destruction.
For in reality, nothing is of value.
We must learn to be passionately, dispassionate, and that is all.
I thank Emily, my Guru, everyday, for teaching me such unusual things.
Sherman Dahl
The Emily Dahl Foundation
March 2023