“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell This is a wonderful quote, but we should be careful how we think about this. It is best coming from a place of true caring and compassion. If not, one should remain silent.
On a recent visit with Master Koten Benson at The Lions Gate Buddhist Priory in Lytton, BC, Master Koten reminded me of this in his unique and loving way. There is a reason he has the designation of a Master. No different than a Master home builder or a Master car mechanic, he knows his stuff and he is on a journey where he has committed his entire life to helping others the best that he possibly can in the realm of the external world. Recently a dear friend sent us some sad news. Really sad news. After many years the marriage of our friend is ending in divorce. This is clearly a major change in anyone's life. It was nice to be able to share this with Master Koten as such a man often has insightful things to say, and you never know when it will come. I brought up the often used saying that "when one door closes, another opens". He looked at me with very intense eyes and said - "That is a very BIG door!". Immediately, I was struck with his compassion and that this truly is major shock for my dear friend, and a quote such as this may not help at all. In fact, it brought back memories of when our daughter Emily passed away and someone said: "God needed another Angel." That did not help at the time, at all. The very well-known spiritual leader Ram Dass said it best: "Cultivating a compassionate heart is like the monk who is crying because his son has died, and his student comes up and says, 'What are you crying about? You know it is all illusion.' The monk replies, 'Yes, but the death of a son is the greatest illusion.' You don’t close off your humanity, but if you don’t find balance within that humanity you’ll burn out. If you don’t balance your humanity you end up putting armor around your heart, and if you armor your heart you’ll starve to death; that’s why you burn out, because you’re not getting fed. If you are going to be free, your freedom means that you do not avert your eyes from anything, in yourself or in anyone else." - Ram Dass The thrust of the life of Ram Dass evolved from initially about getting free and then realizing that his freedom was not independent of everybody else. Then he began arriving at that circle where one works on oneself as a gift to other people so that one doesn't create more suffering. He helped people as work on himself and he worked on himself to help people. This is exactly what Master Koten is doing in the quiet forest just minutes from Lytton, BC. Reverend Master Koten Benson, who has been the Prior and spiritual director since 1986, is a Dharma Heir of Reverend Master Jiyu Kennett (1924-1996), founder of the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives and first Abbess of Shasta Abbey in California. He was ordained by Rev. Master Jiyu in 1978, received Dharma Transmission from her in 1979, and was recognized as a Buddhist Master by her in 1983. After training at Shasta Abbey for many years, he relocated to Vancouver, BC, Canada in 1985 and established the Priory the following year. He has been teaching there ever since. Sherman Dahl The Emily Dahl Foundation March 2025
